Not so 'Despicable Me'

Okay, little chickens, I have finally gotten off my duff (metaphorically speaking since whilst writing this I am sitting on said duff) and written another blooooooooooog (ribbit) post. Today, for my wonders of wonders, I present to thee a wonderful review of ‘Despicable me!’ Note: Pardons for seeming more melodramatic than normally. I perhaps may be sitting in class right now, trying not to die of boredom. Apparently it brings out … well not the absurd because I’m already always like this … but I guess it just makes it even more (obviously) apparent. Ok… let’s get to work!!  

God... I want minions....

First off, let me just say- a movie in which the first song you hear blaring is Sweet Home Alabama, can’t go wrong. Followed by a kid on a leash, already I’m in love and I’m not even 2 minutes into the movie

Phrases that were uttered during this movie:

                Heh (in response to balloon being blown up in child’s face)

                Oh my God, they do step aerobics!! (in response to the minions)

                Ahaha- Nixon peace sign! Always a classic

                Oh no… a box of shame??? :(

                Unicorns…unicorns, unicorns, unicorns!

                RASTAFARIAN!!!

                CURSE YOU TINY TOILET

                Bogeying Cookie robots!!!

                They are not pajamas!!

                KENNETH!!!!!!!

                He… he punched my shark!!

                AWE!! The minions get bedtime kisses too

Also there was continual, low grade, absurd giggling. I couldn’t have been the one making such an undignified sound, so I can only assume it was coming from the cats. But in all seriousness (mostly), this movie is really, really good. It surprised me that it was so clever. I expected to sit down to what was essentially a kid’s movie, but I have to say, I think it is more of a cartoon for adults. Or at the very least, it’s a movie that will bring out the kid in adults and still entertain the more adult sensibilities.

As for some of my favorite characters and moments:

I do think Umbrage is moonlighting as Ms. Hattie. Yikes. Plus one of my favorite parts is when Gru asks Ms. Hattie if she speaks Spanish and when she answers in the negative, he tells her she has the face of a burro. This comes back to bite him in the butt- “I bought a Spanish-English dictionary… I didn’t like what you said…”

This is Kyle. He is my.... dog.

The dog…thing Kyle inexplicably reminds of Tim… a la this:

Also- Jemaine voiced one of the minions. Now I love Flight of the Conchords, but even I’m not a big enough fan to go back and figure out which one. Still- FOTC= legit.

You can be my minion anyday, if you know what I mean…

Ultimately, I would recommend this movie to anyone and everyone. It has a fun plot, great characters and an amazing cast of actors to voice them. The only thing I’m disappointed about is that it took me that long to watch it!

Also- I am disappointed that I didn’t have a box of Girl Scout cookies to eat with this movie. If you haven’t heard, I’m having a bit of a panic attack by my inability to FIND said Girl Scouts. I know they are out there, I have heard rumblings of their presences, whispers of rumors on the wind!! But have I SEEN them??? Have they offered to sell their godly ambrosia moonlighting as Samoa and Thin Mint cookies? ALAS!! They have not… Sniff. It’s a conspiracy I’m sure… don’t be surprised if the next post is me taking a crack at homemade Samoas! Take that, little adorable girls who are keeping the cookies from me!

Anyways, watch the movie, it will bring a smile to your face! And like all good Steve Carrel movies, it ends with a dance sequence. Party on Minions, party on!

Genius in the Kitchen: The Snicks

Mission: Cream Cheese Snickerdoodles (hums MI theme)

Source:  http://cookiesandcups.com/cream-cheese-filled-snickerdoodles/

Holy guacamole, Batman! These Inception-esque cookies are ridiculous, in all the right ways!  In a “I hear you like dessert, so I’m going to hide a desert, inside your dessert” kind of way. Warning: these cookies are so good, they will turn your frown upside down, so prepare to be joyous.

I mean, I’m not saying there was maniacal laughter of glee (Note: I had to cut back, apparently this freaks out the neighbors). I might, however, be saying that there was lurking in a dark corner, and possessive hoarding of the cookies (my preeeeciousssss). 

Smeagol doesn't want to know how many calories they have :gollum, gollum:...

 So my first challenge was the fact that I ALWAYS decide to bake something on the day I've cleaned my kitchen. And then inevitably, when it calls for gently adding the flour, I create a mini dust storm explosion (sometimes I like to pretend I'm traveling through a dust storm in Egypt, searching for hidden temples of lost pharaohs. Sometimes I just pout and grab the sponge). Today however, I decide that I would be patient in the kitchen. And go slowly... Amazingly enough, there was no explosion (huzzah!)

The next challenge was that I didn't read the recipe carefully enough, so ended up trying to console myself after finding out the filling, and then the dough had to be chilled. So much for instant gratification! Lesson of the day: read the ENTIRE recipe and be patient!

Today's episode has been brought to you by the letter 'patience' and the number 'slow the hell down.' (ah-ah-ah)

So, helpful hints (for baker's like me). The recipe doesn't call for it, but I would chill the dough before you start to roll the cookies too. It is less sticky that way. Also, I would wash your hands frequently to get the dough off during the cookie construction process. It also lowers the stick factor. 

As far as the ... cookie construction process, made me feel a little like Dr. Frankenstein and I have to say, that is a feeling I'm okay with. Cookies are delicious, but then when you put what is essentially cheesecake inside the cookie... Well I stick with what I said, it feels dangerous and forbidden. And really all you need to complete the picture is lightening and a hunched hooded henchman (oooh... hunched hooded henchman, say that 10 times fast!).

Master! It's alive!!! And... eating all the cookies!!

That being said, its just a matter of creating little cookie pockets of heaven and baking them. I had to cook mine a little longer than 8 minutes because I accidentally (I said accidentally...) made them ginormous. Oops. So many kudos to CookiesandCups for the delicious recipe and I know I plan to go check out more of that blog! 

Now I'm just stuck with the clean up process. Always my LEAST favorite part. Makes me wish I had a house elf.....

Harry Potter must not go back to... clean that sink!!

Rants & Rambles: Directional Magic Stick

Look at your car, now back to me, now back to your car… now back to me. See, wasn’t that fun? Now last time (I solemnly swear), look back to your car. See that little level sticking out innocently from the left side of your steering wheel? Yes, my little chicks, that is what some people blithely refer to as the blinker. I know, I know. Maybe you are saying, but Jennelle, blinker? How blasé! How bourgeois! It is not me to refer to something as pedestrian as… the blinker. (Sophisticated French accent included).

Well relax mon petites, I have a plan. It shall now and heretofore (let it be written in the histories of time!) be referred as… *dramatic pause*… the directional magic stick! Ah hah- you say, this is something I can get behind! Now I am going to let you in on a little secret. Not many people know this, so lean on in and listen closely.

ticka...ticka....ticka...

The directional magic stick is magical indeed. Just one little flick of your finger, and a ‘ticka-ticka-ticka’ noise and voila! Suddenly everyone knows what direction you are planning on heading. (Well besides people who have telepathic abilities. I imagine they always know what direction you are heading… although there are probably better uses… ehem, slight mental detour!) Back to the point! The directional magic stick is like a polite British man (monocle and top hat please), walking back to the driver behind you, oh so gently tapping on the window and softly proclaiming: “Excuse me dear sir, but in approximately two to four shakes of a lamb’s tail, the car in front of you will be veering off to the left.” To which the pleased and thankful driver shall respond: “Well thanks good chap, good to know, good to know! Cheerio!” Note: this is how drivers talk to each other in my world.

And then everything is happy and hunky dory and just all around swell, because people KNOW which way you are TURNING and won’t be running into the BACK OF YOUR CAR like some very expensive game of BUMPER cars… Oh, excuse me… No fear, I wasn’t getting upset, nay, my caps lock must have simply been on the fritz. But yes- hunky dory, puppies and kittens, snow drops that melt on your nose and eyelashes! Who could ask for more?

Note- this movie made me want to be a novice nun...

Now dear friends, I am not claiming to be the end all expert on driving. I’m sure in the history of my driving record someone has raised their fist to me and said…humbug!  But still, I have been a devotee to the directional magical stick for many a year. For instance, fact- did you know that before there were cars, people trained their horses to swish their tails back and forth so people would know which direction they were galloping? (Quite obviously not fact).

Oh dear, pardon me.

And of course, there are several exceptions to the overall “please use your directional magic stick so I don’t careen into the back of your vehicle” rule. It is commonly held knowledge that people whilst fleeing from the explosion of Mt. Vesuvius decidedly did NOT uses their directional magic stick. But everyone agreed that this was completely understandable (there might be a slight factual error somewhere in the above).

So there it is- the wonderful secret of the directional magic stick. Please, take it, lock it up like a precious little pearl somewhere in the recesses of your delightfully intelligent minds. And unless you are fleeing from a terrible belching volcano (or something equally as fierce), try to use it!

Phoebe (in not so) Wonderland

Well my loves, what to write, what to write…? Although this technically will not be my first post, I still feel the need so somehow impress. Dramatic phrases and hilarious witticisms- as if I somehow write the perfect turn of phrase I will become an overnight sensation and everyone will flock to read my words…

Note: I am prone to dramatics and exaggeration… and wild flights of fancy. Best to be upfront about it. And best to get used to it.

In an effort to try to write something useful (ha), I decided to start off with a review of a movie I watched a few days ago… “Phoebe in [not so] Wonderland” (my addition…obviously). It had been sitting in my Netflix instant queue for more than awhile, and the mischievous girl peeking out from a giant sunflower teased me into giving it a try. Let me first point at that the Netflix summary blithely describes “Phoebe in Wonderland” thus: “When trouble-prone young Phoebe is cast in a production of ‘Alice in Wonderland,’ she beings to receive advice from the play’s wild characters.”

Through the looking ...frame?

Now I am not afraid of a heart wrenching story, mind you, sometimes they can be very cathartic. But on this particular night I was looking for something cute and light- and I thought hey, advice from the Cheshire Cat would be quite amusing?? Amusing indeed… Thirty minutes or so into the movie (if it was even that far), I realized that I was more likely to be crying, than laughing from this little tale.

That aside, this is a good movie. The actors are all delightful. I am particularly impressed with young Elle Fanning who pulls off some amazing emotional depths, while still managing to come off as a child in a first school play in her scenes as Alice. Felicity Huffman is also amazing as a mother who is struggling with her desire on one hand to be an academic, and on the other, her conflicting wish to simply enjoy being a mother.  

If you want to watch something emotional and moving, give this movie a try. The ending is surprisingly happy (if slightly contrived after the darkness of some of the early scenes). I will leave you with the short monologue of the drama teacher, Miss Dodger (Patricia Clarkson- whom I LOVE by the way)…

“At a certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by... you will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are... especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself... But I am this person. And in that statement, that correction, there will be a kind of love.”

Down the Rabbit Hole

A blog you say, why write a blog? (Can I take a quick moment to point out the fact that I don't like the word blog? Blooooog- reminds me of frogs…) Anyways… what do I have to offer to the wonderful world of… blogs that hasn't already been done (and probably better than I can do it?) Besides my slightly higher conception of my own witticism, and a slightly lower conception of my academic prowess (let me tell you, doesn't take long for Admin Law to make you feel like the mental equivalent of a guppy)- I don't think I can offer anything new.

But who cares! Let's face it ladies and gents (*ehem* imaginary readers), I'm in desperate need of an escape from this torment they blithely like to call law school and I choose the path of flinging my ramblings out into the great world wide web! Let's characterize this as part rant, part cooking/baking blog and part musings on movies and books (if I ever have the time to read something not assigned by a professor again!). So please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle, and enjoy (hopefully) the show!